I’ve been feeling really good for the past few weeks, like I am finally getting my emotional/spiritual shit together. “Aha! I have turned a corner and all of my hard work is paying off!” I thought with exuberance.
Well, that feeling was fun while it lasted. Other people, more seasoned travellers on this road, have said that this journey is like peeling layers of an onion. Just when you think you have a nice, smooth surface, you find another level to go down.
Or maybe we are spiritual matryoshka dolls, the beautiful Russian nesting dolls.
The good news is, every time we peel a layer, we remove some baggage, and our “issues” get smaller.
Currently I am realizing I have more work to do, more hard work. Work that is necessary for growth, for spiritual fulfillment, for happiness. But the work is no longer overwhelming, in fact, some of it is exciting.
The reward is now sweet enough to make the hard work worth while. In the beginning of the process, two years ago, the work was harder and the reward was iffy. I was feeling for the first time in 20 years, and there was a reason I didn’t want to feel my emotions.
Instead of a giant, numb sweet onion, I am now a cooking onion. One day I will be a pearl onion. Or a little baby matryoshka.